Just a silly little thing, really....fights.

Fights. These are most definitely silly little things.

After fights, with friends, with parents, with boyfriends/girlfriends, there's always that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach. 

If you have wronged, you feel awful.

If you have been wronged, you feel awful.

If you've both, then the feeling is just....awful. 

Someone dear to me once said that when they fight with people, they can't stay angry for long because they begin to imagine what would happen if that person died. 

No last embrace

No affectionate words

No "goodbye"

Just died. 

 What then? What would you do? 

And then I ask myself, what would I do? I'd feel awful. And that's an understatement.

Sometimes after fights, you wonder if you should hurry up,  fix the problem, and make up for lost time, or if you should just step away. You could hurt the person even more if you talk to them while you're still hurting.

Maybe I've never stopped hurting from what they've done in the past, which is why I've just hurt them. 

So I pose the question: step back or step forward?

My advice....? 

I'll let you know. 

                                                     Love Always,

                                                              Delphi

P.S. "There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love". 

                           - Bryan H. McGill

Just a silly little thing, really...performing.

Performing. 

My soul mate for eternity.

My dream of dreams. 

The only thing I have fallen completely and utterly in love with. 

Maybe a little dramatic, but hey, it's theatre. 

I went to go see a Takarazuka (Japanese theatre troupe in which all roles, including male ones, are played by females) show today; a musical based on the movie "Sabrina", starring Audrey Hepburn. As I watched all of the performers dance and sing their curtain call, I had the following epiphany: 

I am not a person who is generally happy with myself; I always feel that I can do better at everything I do, that I could be kinder, stronger, a better person.

I have always loved theatre because I am handed the opportunity to become a different person.

And today I realized that the day I know that I am truly happy with everything about myself, is the day that I won't feel a need to do theatre for that reason. I am sure it does not mean I won't continue theatre, for it is an ever-burning flame in my heart that I know will never extinguish, but I do know that once I no longer feel the need to run away, I can pursue it simply because I enjoy it and simply because when I'm on that stage, nothing else matters. I am given the opportunity to show the world who Delphi Nina Borich is, and I am given the chance to shine. 

                                                  Love always,
                                                           Delphi

P.S. The machine won once again. 

P.P.S. "Shine your light!" 

                        -Tamra Glaser

Just a silly little thing, really...Festivals.

Traditional Japanese Festivals. You know, there's something about festivals, and that *thing* is usually that significant things occur within the duration of a festival. For example, in the musical, "Into the Woods", Cinderella meets her prince at a festival (I use the example of "Into the Woods" and not the classic children's story because the term "festival" is only used in "Into the Woods"). I am sad to report that absolutely nothing happened at last night's festival. It was more of a visit to the past than a ticket to the future. I saw people who used to be my friends, people who used to be more, and I even encountered a long time enemy of mine.

It is a little known fact that I have been going to Japan every summer since the summer of second grade, and I  have attended school, in Japan, up until about eight grade. Therefore, when I see someone or something to remind me of that time, I get a butterfly in my stomach. These were mental notes I took in my head; 

Two girls who used to be my friends *Butterfly* 
A girl whose house I used to go to. She has a big white dog. *Butterfly*
A large group of teenagers. I recognize one. *Butterfly* 
My best friend of four/five years. She waves and we exchange smiles *Butterfly*
The boy who made me a CD of popular Japanese songs once. He was always so kind. *Butterfly* 

But then, I saw it. My enemy ever since I began going to the festivals. 

The Open Mic Karaoke Machine.   

Ever since I had began singing, it had taunted me and tormented me to no end, constantly calling out to me as teenager by teenager went up to sing, only to gain approval from their loud peers. My cold, hard stare had stopped upon the robot, and Mama, sensing my thoughts, voiced that I should go sing. I turned to her and immediately protested, but in my mind, I wanted nothing more than to go up and put in "Anatagairukara (Because you're here)" by Nakashima Mika and show them who the awkward half (half Japanese/half American) lurking was. I actually began to consider going up there and singing. The possibility became more and more friendly, and I was about 65-79% there. And then, the unthinkable happened...

The MC announced the last song.  

That blasted machine had prevailed once again. I hung my head low in defeat and walked home.

There's another festival tonight. The battle continues, my friends. 

                                             Love always, 

                                                  Delphi

P.S.  "Age wrinkles the body, quitting wrinkles the soul" 

                   -Douglas McArthur

Just a silly little thing, really....Valentine's Day cards.

It's a silly little thing, really...

Valentine's Day cards. As I walked through a small and simple craft shop, I stumbled upon a box of antique cards. There were "Thank you!" cards, "Get Well!" cards, and, of course, "Happy Birthday!" cards, but the ones that caught my eye were for Valentine's Day. Perhaps it was the similarly drawn pictures on each card. Perhaps it was the shapes in which they were cut. Perhaps, but I know that the reason was not among those I just mentioned.

It was, in fact,the Cheesy sayings written on them. For example;

*drawn: a girl and a boy under an umbrella together* "Tell me if I still rain in your heart, my Valentine!"

*drawn: a boy with a tennis racket* "I wish you would play the game of love with me!"

*drawn: two monkeys* "I'm not monkeying around! You're the only one for me, Valentine!"


And it's times like when I was holding those delicate cards in my hand that I realize how simple and old fashioned I'd like love to be. Now, I'm no expert on love, no, not at all, but I didn't need a dozen red roses at my doorstep with a note saying, "From, your secret admirer" to make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. No. All it took were those cheesy little cards. My day is made.


                                                                                                        Love always,
                                                                                                               Delphi
P.S. "I love you today, yesterday and every tomorrow."
                                                       -Source Unknown

Just a silly little thing, really....but I'm here.

 I'm here. After a year of never-ending

"It smells like Japan"'s and melancholy looks,


I'm finally here. But, of course, "Be careful what you wish for". With every gain, there comes a loss.

I've gained home, and I've lost...home.

I suppose, "Make the best of it" would be anyone's advice; advice I intend to follow. But it is, of course, difficult to say the least.

As I sit here, indulging in my aunt's homemade Pecan Tart, I miss indulging in Papa's homemade Virgin Pina Coladas.

As I sit here, watching a great Japanese game show, I miss watching whatever cable could offer.

As I sit here, holding my cousin in my arms, I miss being held.

To quote a line of lyric, "I will survive".

          
                                                                           Love always,
                                                                                    Delphi

P.S.
"We only part to meet again.  ~John Gay